What I focused on most of all was that top I was wearing. My mum sent it from the U.K. and I loved that top. Seeing it, took me on a journey to one of the most scariest experience I’ve encountered. A memory which thinking about it now, explains my aversion to crowds and noise and my trauma response. I won’t go into analysis here but will recollect. As a side note, I am currently reading What Happened to You? by Oprah Winfrey, Dr Bruce Perry. A book which seeks to reframe the question, What’s wrong with you.
Coming to terms with my sisters death has been different. My attention span was non existent. My mind would drift, trying to piece together every interaction we ever had. Every laugh, fight, memory good and bad.
I started the post below that day with the intention of posting it that same day. At midday my world changed forever. Nearly eight months later, I have woken up at two in the morning and unable to sleep. I thought I’d attempt to complete and post this in the middle of lockdown 2.0.